This past year has been nothing but a blur to say the least. I really lost myself and have been struggling to find a way to make myself a better person. As most of you may know, I lost my little brother to his battle from brain cancer back in February. I never thought I would ever have to deal with something so painful in my entire life. You just never really have time to prepare for something like that. I find myself very lost, angry, and confused at times and I wish that I didn't feel like that, but it's normal. Some days are dark and some are lonely and I don't think that feeling will ever go away because I lost such a special person who can never be replaced. I really want to take the things that I have been through to help touch the lives of others around me. So, this is why I decided to share this with everyone. Zach was one of a kind. For anyone that knew him could easily understand what I mean when I say that. He had a heart of gold, he was strong, wise, determined, he was just an amazing person. I have never in my life met someone who had impacted me as much as my little brother did and still does. Any situation no matter how bad it was he always found a way to turn it around and make it positive. Through all of the struggles that he went through not once did I ever hear him complain. Zach was just full of life with every intention to touch the lives of those around him. Yes, some days are extremely difficult and sometimes it almost feels impossible to get up in the morning because my heart feels so heavy. Some days are harder than others and I am really angry and sad but whenever I find myself feeling like this I ask myself "Would Zach want you to feel like this?" The answer is no, he wouldn't. He taught me how to be strong and he did it for a reason, because he knew he had to. He doesn't want me to be angry because he is no longer with us, he wants me to be happy and take the things he taught me and allow them to make me a better person. Zach is destined for greatness, and I am so thankful to have known and learned so much from such an amazing person. When I catch myself feeling angry or sad I take that energy and I channel it to something that makes me happy. Fashion has always been one of my biggest passions and I recently started at Wayne State this fall and it has really helped me focus and bring out the best side of myself. Zach was a firm believer and one of my biggest supporters of my dream and I know it makes him happy to see me pursuing my dreams. Fashion allows me to express myself, be creative, and has brought out the better side of me and I love that. If there is something that I have learned it is cherish every moment because you never know when things can change, and it only takes the blink of an eye. Appreciate the little things, because they matter. If you're having a bad day just always remind yourself that someone out there has it worse and being negative and angry will not change anything or get you anywhere for that matter. Remember that life is short so don't ever hesitate or be afraid to be who you are or follow your dreams. There is a quote that I found and I read it every day just to remind myself of these things: "All gifts in life come from directly above. Living in the presence is the ultimate gift, full of promise and possibility. Allow yourself to be open to life's greatest moments without taking anything for granted. Seize your opportunities and realize that you are divinely and completely blessed everyday in every moment." Zach taught me so many amazing things and I try to take those things to allow me to get through my dark days. It is extremely rare that someone at 20 years old can change so many lives, but that was one of the amazing gifts that my brother was given and for that I am forever grateful. We all have our days, and it's okay to be sad or mad but just try and channel all the negative energy on something that makes you happy and you will be in a better place. I thank you Zach for teaching me so many amazing qualities and believing in me, I am a better person because of it. I know we all have someone that we look up to in our lives. Whoever it may be try to take the things that this person has taught you and allow that to make you a better person. I promise you won't regret it. |
5 Comments
Gloria Wesley
11/10/2015 12:01:10 pm
You are so wise and a beautiful girl love u shared your heart with us it's hard to lose someone like Zach keep been who you are and everything will be ok Love you Sarah
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Deb Watson
11/10/2015 02:15:30 pm
Sarah. The family feels the pain daily. The anger and the why just seems to linger. Expressing your thoughts on this blog helps everyone try to heal and realize Zach was Amazing. Keep up the blog it is inspirational. Love you
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Breanna Pietz
11/10/2015 03:31:10 pm
I love this. It brought me to tears, I must say your talent far exceeds fashion alone my dear, this touched me heart. Missing Zach everyday. I love you Sarah! I couldn't be more happy for or prouder of you! 😘
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Ali Lince
11/10/2015 04:35:22 pm
This is beautiful.
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rj
12/5/2015 10:54:33 pm
What a beautiful woman you've become, inside and out!! Life truly is GREAT AND AMAZING for those of us having been touched by Zach! Sarah, you're a gifted writer! Thank you for sharing!
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Hey hey! I'm Sarah!Just a girl with big dreams, expensive taste, and lover of all things to do with fashion. Contact Me:Archives
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